Gasy ass? Don't light a match

I told Jill today I was experiencing Gasyass. A terrible disorder that causes your eyes to roll and bleed until you fart and share it with others who were less fortunate than you are. It is a form or feeding the hungry through sent.
Kind of a smell menu if you will. Well any way Jill told me to light a match...........
Kind of ruined the smell
and did not making sitting to much fun either..
Wonder if she is mad at me?

nieghbors house over run with Bugs

My nieghbors house used to be over run with Bugs of all kinds. Why if you wanted to start a bug collection? You kind find all you ever needed in thier house! One day these men came and they sprayed and sprayed and they killed ALL of those bugs!!
Well it has taken me some time But I have found quite a few bugs in different places and after some careful breeding on my part I am ready to replace them.
and you say I never do anything!

My neighbors bottle an can collection

My neighbors used to have a very large bottle an can collection in thier yard. I myself thought it looked very bad. But, I am not the type of nieghbor that nags and complains about every little thing. To each his own I always say! But others have never been so kind. They recieved a LOT of complaints about thier collection and the way it made thier yard look. I would watch every day out my window. Not that I am nosey mind you. But my desk is in front of that window and I cannot help but see everything that goes on.
most times I do not even need my binoculars! Well there would be Police and city people knocking on thier door ALL the time! One day a city truck showed up and these men got out and they picked up ALL of those bottles and cans and put them into large bins in front of my neighbors house. Well all the other nieghbors were real happy to see the grass again. I myself felt it was thier yard and should not have been anyone else's business. So I took them all out of the bins and put them back. I hope I got them in the right places....
Do not say I do not do anything!

siamese cat

My neighbor has a really pretty siamese cat. She dearly Loves it But she has always told anyone and everyone who would ever listen and many of us who do not wish to hear it. She wishes it where white it would be worth more.
So I painted it.
Don't tell me I never do anything.

Nazi Turd an ticket

Today I went into town and went to the VA Hospital. I was only in there for about 5 hours, The Doctor's warned me the security was really cracking down in the parking garage. When I came out sure enough there was a cop writing out a parking ticket on the car . I went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him a s---head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care. I finished my cigarette joined Jill in our SUV and we left. I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at my age.